Ms Patches Grooms Mr Whiskers

So, these two appear to be getting along very well now. They still have their moments. I'll hear them brawling and have to separate them--time out, so to speak--but they always come back together. Mr Whiskers is like a football player, strong and solid. I can feel this when I pet him, the way he leans with force into my hand. He butts her with his head when she goes by, in a gentle but clear way.

Twice now, I've been sitting with them and Ms Patches started to groom him--so sweet she is. Patches is very dainty and I think his strong advances scare her. What is so touching is that she always comes back.

Here she's grooming once again. (Clearest photos I can get with my iphone.)

he leans in to accomodate

Then he rolls back to "embrace".

This is too much for Ms P, who vanishes.

I continue to observe because I am not sure whether to work to have them adopted together or separately. I do think cats enjoy company even if it is not the perfect match. For example, my mother's and my cat are not the best of friends, but I notice they look for each other. And when they rest I see all three Mia, my dog, Cuddles, and Scooter rest together--especially during a storm.

P.S. When Whiskers and Patches brawl upstairs, Mia hides under the kitchen table and Scooter and Cuddles cry to be let outside...quite the scene.

Ms Patches Loves to Play

Ms Patches is such a joyful cat. She learned to play from her kittens. She used to watch them from a safe place in the 244 West 10th apt. This was before she was comfortable with people. I thought once they left she would hide under the bed, but to my surprise she leapt out and started pushing the balls with the bells around, batting at string, chasing feathers.

Also, as the kittens were leaving, she went into heat. Although it was an unfortunate turn of events in one way, it allowed us an "in" with her, as she would let almost anyone pet her. I tried many different strategies to calm her. The idea was to wait until she went out of heat to spay her, some vets will disagree with this, but this is what I was told at first. But she never went out of heat. I waited longer than i perhaps should have and learned a lesson along the way, BUT it allowed me the opportunity to get closer to Patches, because the touches seemed to be somewhat soothing. I usually started out by letting the back of my hand slide along her body as she passed by.  Gradually I was able to stroke along her ears, her neck, did some small circles on her neck, and did circles with opposite hands, simultaneously (called the "turtle" in TTouch) on her thighs. This became a bonding time.

It was mostly an extremely stressful time, because I knew she was uncomfortable, but we came through this period all the wiser. I'm guessing by her behavior that Patches learned that humans can be "ok" and even preferable to be around (as opposed to not being around) and I learned that sometimes you have to spay a cat when it's in heat. You just have to go to someone who is very experienced.
And so now I have one very, very playful torty female. I think playing is a very good exercise for the cats. And it can be bonding.

She loves to play mole rat. This game was first taught to me by my ex-husband Curt. We first played this with Mia. She's not really into it any more, but Patches can't get enough of it. You move something under a blanket, like the stick, and she'll follow it. The only down side to this game is that your cat might want to play this game with your toes when you are trying to go to sleep. I strongly recommend not getting this game started on your bed, OR sleep with a thick blanket.

Patches also likes to chase things. She'll chase a ball or treats and sometimes she even catches them with her paws. I think her favorite is the feather on the stick. She'll play with this for hours.

She sometimes upsets Mr Whiskers with her zooming around, chasing imaginary objects, or tiny things she finds to push around, like paper clips, but she has a way spreading cheer with her antics.

Settling In

So happy to be able to say that things are settling down. The stress of moving affected us all and knowing how cats hate change I would say they did pretty well through it all. Mr Whiskers decided to move down to the second floor and I was happy for this, though this was where all the renovation was taking place. It was too hot up there--no air conditioning--and we've been having record setting heat waves. (There is an attic fan which is heavenly on cool nights.) The fact that he is venturing down, means he is getting more comfortable with us. His first time down was very cute because he meuwed his whole way down. He crept low and carefully, but steadily. It was kind of like he was saying, "I'm coming down, ok? ...Is this really ok? I'm almost down, ok? I'm down, ok?"  I thought it was a bit comical because I would think if you were creeping you would want to be really quiet. I think he's down to stay. He does have the third floor to retreat to if things get too busy on this floor.

 I only had to separate Mr Whiskers and Ms Patches a couple of nights--this was because they started brawling just after I turned the lights out to go to sleep. And because it began after I closed my eyes, I was never exactly sure what they were spatting about. This was disturbing because initially they got along fine. Even began eating together (dishes side-by-side). Once I heard the brawling, I thought the romance was defiinitely over (if you are new to their story you can get their history at the "Mr Whiskers and TTouch" posting). I had the feeling Mr Whiskers was trying to take over my room and this was where Ms Patches was getting used to sleeping. I as too exhausted to to do any observations, so Mr Whiskers slept on the third floor with a fan and lots of water. I had consulted with a vet who said that cats have the ability to adjust to extreme weather. He did do alright with the heat--he was fine in the morning--hungry and love-seeking as ever. And he and Ms Patches ate together peacefully.

 Also in the heat, Mia comes up to the second floor seeking the coolness of the bathroom floor (pushing her way past the room divider I place at the top of the stairs to give the 4 cats their separate space.) So then Mia and Mr Whiskers ended up having a confrontation. I never usually sleep so deeply that I don't hear Mia coming upstairs, but evidently there was a very heated moment between them--sorry Mom!! I owe ya.  Sooo, now there is a barricade at the bottom of the stairs leading to the second floor as well as the room divider at the top of the stairs.  It is quite an event going up and down the stairs in this household at night. I've heard some people let their animals move about freely and figure it our on their own, but I'd rather control the interactions to have experiences be as positive as possible and avoid as many spats as possible. Also, Scooter, my mother's cat, sprays and we like to keep this at a minimum, for our own sanity. Keeping the foster cats upstairs, hopefully lessens his anxiety about other cats in his territory.

Once in a while Ms Patches, who has boundless curiosity, makes her way down the stairs and so I give all the cats treats and do reintroductions. When I get a bit more settled in, I will give them a little more time to interact. Ms Patches seems the most affable of all the animals. She just loves to explore.

I'm realizing that all of this doesn't really sound like settling in, so now I will get to that part. Right now, for example, we are having a rain storm. Mia hides up here in the bathroom (gets some calming touches--complete body strokes called Noah's March--these really help). I've placed a gate across my bedroom door. Ms Patches is sleeping on the bed, Mr Whiskers on the cedar chest, and Mia is happy and feeling safe in the bathroom. The only thing I don't like about this arrangement is that I have to bring the kitty litter into the bedroom. Plus I don't like keeping my long-time canine buddy out of my room, but I tell him and Cuddles it's just a phase...we all have to be patient. And I think they are.

Here's (finally) an example of settling in:
Mr Whiskers, who usually only let me pet his head, is now allowing me to touch his whole body--head through tail. I can only do slides, no circular touches (TTouch reference). So I tried to introduce a brush once again. Up til now he hated anything but my hand or along feather near him, but now he likes the brush (wire brush that holds the hair and I use a long toothed metal tick comb to remove it.) I let him smell it to begin with. Then held it and let him come towards it. Then slid it along his cheek a little, waited. He began to push against it, which is a sign he liked it--yeay!

But he did want to know why I wasn't using my hand. See him sliding his face onto my hand>>>






Before you know it, he's allowing me to move along his whole upper body. Mr Whiskers sheds quite a bit, so this is wonderful to be able to brush him. And I've heard it is very good for the skin and coat.

Felines and Moving

It's been many days since an update because of the move...so many boxes!!! A bit overwhelming dealing with the move physically and emotionally--leaving my home of 9 years...well 7 years living there and 2 years visiting working--it was my hideaway in the West Village. my home.
Now it's gone.
I'm helping mom out with the family home. I'm not actually sure how much help I am since I've managed to fill it up with felines. It could be worse, I recently spoke with a writer who had 22 cats. We only have 4--so that's like nothing, except if you met these 4, plus Mia. They have a way of more than filling the space. Mr Whiskers has taken over the third floor, he allows Ms Patches to visit when he's in the mood. He has these demanding meows that scare the downstairs cats and force me upstairs to feed and pet him. Ms Patches has taken over the whole 2nd floor--two bedrooms and one room being renovated for my office (really her room if you ask her). And the other three run the first floor--a good one to be on, since the kitchen is there and the opportunity to go outside, which Cuddle and Scooter take much advantage of.


And I found myself asking why this timing?? Why did I have to have all these cats when I have this big move?? It's enough work keeping them all fed and their rooms and boxes clean. It finally dawned on me that this moving thing being a big life shift, one of the three highest stressors in life, these guys are possibly here to help me deal, to give extra love through this time. If I let them. (Or drive me crazy, but i'm not going there.) They all adore being pet and I have begun to use the time as meditation. It's a kind of petting meditation.


Now for the felines side of things,  they have had to deal with all the hubbub and they are doing pretty well. Mr Whiskers kept to his third floor hideout and Ms Patches kept her eye on me to make sure her room renovations met with her approval. 

I had to be extremely careful with the plastering and paint because it is very toxic. But Ms P is very good at navigating around things. She has a boundless curiosity. She really cracked me up the way she kept appearing when I least expected her. I would look down to put a rag in the bucket, for example, and there she was, watching intently.


Cuddles and Scooter stayed out of the way downstairs and Mia showed up every once in a while to make sure we all knew she belonged. We're still in process of getting settled in, and it's so hot we're all taking it very slow, but that's another story.

One Step Forward, One Step Backward

Not sure why this happened, but Mr Whiskers started getting spooked and wacking me when I tried to touch him. Things were going so well. Perhaps because things are a little tense around here. I'm getting ready to let go of my apt on West 10th...so I guess I may have to change the name of the blog...I got the feather out and started using the feather again with Mr Whiskers and he was more comfortable. He let me slide over his whole body with the feather, then he sighed, stretched out, and rested on his side. So I feel there is hope.

If I thought I was overwhelmed before, ha! that was nothing. So now besides taking care of 5 animals I'm painting the rooms at my mother's that I'll be moving into and sorting through things, getting rid of stuff, reorganizing. It will be the first time in about 15 years that all my belongings will be in one place. Hopefully all the animals will not get too stressed. It is probably a good thing to have to stop and take care of them, pet them, use the touches....calming, centering. Thank God for my mother who helps with feeding and my friend Ellen who helped paint!

Ms Patches has begun to come up to visit, but it wasn't the smashing reunion I hoped it might be. It was rather anticlimactic. She was more interested in him than he in her. He was more concerned that she might eat his food, so he chased her out. But there was one brief sweet encounter where they appeared to rub noses. Sort of like "hello, yes, I remember, now scram." I think he's very happy with his third floor space, windows, toys and cat climber.

You can see below by her ears that Ms Patches is a bit nervous about entering. She's such a sweet spirit, though. Rather than hiding after being chased or being aggressive or combative in return, she sits at the doorway to the room and waits. Almost like she's waiting for him to remember or get used to her. We'll see...

Scooter, The Man of the House

Scooter is enjoying the blues on the radio on a balmy Sunday morning. He loves to rest his claws in the curtain. Doesn't he look so sweet and docile? He is the number one reason why fostering cats is so hard. Scooter is a cat that sprays.
Ugh!!

Usually male cats who are not neutered spray--for various reasons. One is to claim territory. Only 10 % of neutered cats spray and Scooter is one of those.

Scooter is my parents' cat. My mother says the only reason she keeps him around is because my father loved him so much. He really is a very sweet, very disturbed guy. They thought he was a "she" when he was young. They named him Lily, changed it to Willy, when he continuously would dash out of the house he became Scooter.

Living with Scooter makes you feel like you are living in purgatory on earth. The smell from his spraying is almost impossible to get rid of. He has been tested for any possible health problems--he was found to be very healthy. I switched him to what I feel is the healthiest diet--raw. We've tried a host of things, including valium, depo-provera; pheromone plug-ins, throwing out furniture that he doesn't stop spraying...nothing has worked. His fur is looking a little dry lately (maybe a seasonal thing, or maybe he needs to go to the vet. He is on fish oil). Right now we are trying Bach Flower remedies and adding kitty litter boxes with Cat Attract around the house. Keeping my fingers crossed. I'm also thinking of arming my mother and I with water pistols so if he sprays we can spray back (while he's not looking of course).

Mr Whiskers has to stay in the attic for his health and ours and Scooter's. Scooter is extremely territorial and does not like Mr Whiskers--he knows him from the 'hood. He once went over to the porch that Mr Whiskers was living on to pick a fight. Of course I can't say for sure I didn't see it, could have been he was trying to smell Mr Whiskers food, but why was he on Mr Whiskers porch??

So we have Mr Whiskers in the attic, Ms Patches in residence in the front bedroom, and Mia, Cuddles and Scooter eaking out a living on the first floor. This whole adventure has brought Cuddles and Mia closer. The seem to hang out together more.

It is quite an exhausting venture. My evening ritual is to start out on the first floor with my animals, saying hello, petting, TTouching, particularly Mia who has arthritis; feeding, walking (Cuddles and Mia). I clap my hands when Scooter begins to spray to startle and distract him, but then Mia barks and scared Scooter and he sprays again. I spend time brushing Scooter, which he adores--especially loves to have his face brushed. I add in a little mouthwork--circle on his lips and gums. I talk with him and tell him how much we love him but he is ruining the house and really needs to stop. While we have an extended brushing session I remind him he can mark with his face and it would be just as effective. Then we all have a treat. Then up to Ms Patches for a little playtime, then upward to Mr Whiskers to feed and TTouch. Because I don't get home til evening, it's usually about 2 am when I get to bed. So you won't see any photo of me here.

The Many Sides of Mr Whiskers

Mr Whiskers is a complicated guy. He is a strong, powerful cat. When he meuws he sounds like a kitten. Now that he's feeling better, he's moving much more quickly (he's on antibiotics for a bacterial infection). When I pet him he melts. I try to do some touches while he is eating, but he's starting to like them so much that he keels over--right into his food. Yesterday, he fell into his water bowl and didn't even flinch. He just kept leaning into my hand.  I was happy to discover he trusted me enough to dry him a bit with a paper towel. I get the feeling that he is love starved. He must have been living outside at least 3 years. While out on the street he gave this veneer of tough guy. One of the reasons he looks tough, I believe, is that he does not use any calming signals. He just looks wide eyed all the time. Who knows, he may have vision problems.

Cats have very similar calming signals to dogs I have learned. They blink their eyes (or squint) or lick their lips or look away. When I'm petting Mr Whiskers I try the squinting and looking away because he's still skittish. Even though he falls over when I pet him, if I move my hand in a way he's not ready for, he jumps. I use the back of my hand to slide down his beautiful soft fur because it has less heat, is less stimulating and possibly less threatening. He may swat, but he doesn't have his claws out, I'm very careful to read his body movement. If I feel him begin to startle I stop or withdraw, close my eyes. I'm careful because his feeder while he was outside got scratched, but he has not scratched me yet. I think watching the signals carefully helps.

He rolls over on his back exposing his belly, but I'm not going there yet. Sometimes he rolls into me, resting his paws against my leg--I pray he does not decide to use his claws and he hasn't. He really must have been someone's cat at some point.

He's starting to get more comfortable on the third floor because he meuws for me to come up and feed him. And he doesn't hide under the bed when I come up the stairs.

Here I'm doing some ear slides which he loooves and starting to hold his head. He likes to fall asleep with his head in my hand.

I'm really looking forward to reintroducing him to Ms Patches. I wonder how he will feel about her now?