Thank You, Scooter

Our family cat, really Dad's cat, crossed over 7.19.14. (I had been writing about him then and only now am able to catch up.) Scooter was an amazing teaching cat--he challenged us to the very edge of our patience, torturing us with spraying the house inside and out, and wacking us when we least expected it. But, we loved him. Anyone with common sense would have sent him to a farm or a refuge.

But, the thing is, Dad loved him. And when I petted Scooter I was reminded of dad's big warm hands that would calm, soothe. You felt truly comforted when you felt Dad's hand. And I have a vivid memory of my father reaching his long arm down to the floor to pet Scooter, lying right next to him.

The spraying was a nightmare. He sprayed, at one time or another, just about everything in the house--nothing was too good for Scooter. Windows, doors, chairs, coffee maker, computer, the stove and me.

He was very territorial, nervous, unpredictable. He lived 17 long, 17 short years. I began working with him when I was in the TTouch training, and after I was certified I think I must have worked with him almost every day. We went through sooooo much together. Not the least was the loss of my father.

His spraying did slow down, but we could never get rid of all the triggers, like feral or stray cats in our neighborhood--they got him all riled. And, perhaps this was not the best thing to do, but I rescued some of those cats. I kept trying to explain to him that we have to share, that we don't always get our own way, but I don't think he ever quite got my point. even though I made sure to give him attention every day.

So, I'm sorry, Scooter, if I overwhelmed you. But I did keep two upstairs and away from you. Only Cuddles and Bonnie (Mia before Bonnie) were on the first floor--I had a room divider connected to the walls at the top of the stairs, 2nd floor. And you also had the basement.

It was fascinating, however, to see the changes Scooter was able to make. He went from hiding in the basement any time he heard the doorbell to coming up and looking to see who arrived when folks came to the door. This is at 16 -17 years of age. I'll never forget the first time it happened. Our neighbor Carol was sitting in the living room and we were chatting and in walks Scooter, right up to Carol and sniffed her. Carol put her hand down, Scooter sniffed it and Carol gave him a short light stroke. Hurray, Scooter! Cats really can overcome some of their fears!

Also, I work with children in my Feldenkrais® practice and a few times he jumped on the table to see them. And it was so wonderful, in a couple of instances, to see the child reach out with her challenged hand to stroke him--so very rewarding.

In case you are interested in details, when I worked with Scooter, because he got very stimulated by petting, I would keep the sessions very brief. I stayed to his side--he was less threatened by this and less likely to whack me there than if I stood facing him. And I would touch him only where he was very comfortable. I started with slides along his neck to mid-torso. He always seemed to love ear slides. These help increase circulation and oxygen--can help bring animals out of shock. He also liked hair pulls along the top of his head and down the back into his neck. Gradually I was able to go through more of his body. And the more I worked with him the sooner I could detect if he had enough and stop before he batted me. As the weeks went by I was able to stroke through his whole body. I then added turtle touches which are circles the opposite way on his shoulders, ribs and hips. He loved this! And I would see him settle down into the ground more, close his eyes. (If you want any details on these touches you can go to TTouch.com)

This all came in very handy the time he got sprayed by a skunk. He really let me clean him all over--and did he need it!!! Even though I was very very upset about this, I couldn't help but think about turnabout as fair play...just a little.

For those of you who do not approve of cats going outside, this was what made it possible for us to live with Scooter--letting him do some of the spraying outside. He did not really go after birds--he was more interested in things on the ground, like worms and mice--mostly chasing them. And he loved racing out of the house and up the tree in the front of the house. He always knew how to get down.

Here's a sweet moment when Scooter walked in and settled near Bonnie. It was not threatening, thought Bonnie wasn't sure what to make of it. Scooter was more likely to do something like this when thunder storms were coming on.

 And here is a somewhat rare moment, but sweet nonetheless when all rested together.

Scooter has left a big hole in our home. It smells a whole lot better to be sure. And I'm only recently resting bags on the floor without jumping to quickly pick them up. Sometimes I get a whiff of spray and think that Scooter has zoomed by for a visit. It took quite a while to stop expecting to see him in his favorite resting places, and being very sad when he wasn't. He was such a big presence--all the strategies and vet visits to investigate, to try and get him to stop spraying, it made us miss him all the more. I hope when I cross over I get to see him and give him a few more touches. Scoot on happily my feline friend.

Ins and Outs, Ups and Downs

[This was an entry from 2011 when Mia and Scooter were still with us]

The hardest thing in this household with five animals is a rainy day. This is because the downstairs cats, Cuddles and Scooter, can't go outside and they meow like crazy because they hear the upstairs cats romping. I'm hoping that Mr W and Ms P will find their forever home soon because Scooter and Cuddles are very upset about the upstairs noises. Cuddles, who lives up to her name, growls like a tigress when she sees Mr W. This is most likely because when they both were living outside, before I rescued them, he was courting her very persistently--this is the gentlest way I can put it. The other thing is that it's possible Mr W has a vision problem. He seems to rush up at things in a clumsy way. He never sees treats until I put them right under his nose. So he tries to get up close--I've seen him do this with Patches. She understands him now and will either rub noses or bite him on the head, depending on her mood.

Mia just puts her head down between her paws in her doggy bed. She's a good sport with 4 cats.

When the weather is nice, and Scooter and Cuddles take their evening walk in the 'hood, I let Mr and Ms come downstairs. Here they were cuddling while we all watched "About a Boy."

The upstairs duo have become very adept at getting past the room divider. It was such a beautiful thing when it worked. My latest idea to keep them upstairs was to put the vacuum, which they run from, in front of it. This worked for a little while only. In the end, when they want to come down, they find a way. Once see you see one of them downstairs, you know the other is not far behind.
[I have now secured this room divider with hooks that have closures.]

For some reason, Mr Whiskers has to get to the basement where Scooter likes to go. Then I find them crouched near each other. If someone knows what this is about I would like to know. I'm thinking it might be that Mr W is going to vie for head of the house, or he's just curious cause he knows Scooter from outside. Interesting that both of these males who appear very macho and territorial are very sensitive, nervous cats. Mr Whiskers will run under the furniture if the noises outside the house are too loud for too long. Scooter also runs from loud noises--anything out of the ordinary; will hide if company shows up, though he is getting a bit more confident in this area. Cuddles and Patches are curious. Cuddles who has quite a bit of Maine Coon personality will walk very freely around anyone she chooses--cat, dog, human. Patches will sit under a chair, peeking out with her cute little black nose and orange cheeks. Peeking out you see round little eyes, black nose and orange cheeks.

So far I let the four cats intermingle for short periods of time and offer lots of treats. It really isn't fair to bring the outside cats in to invade Scooter's territory (looking at this through Scooter's eyes). But, I keep trying to explain that he is doing a really good thing letting these felines stay in his house while we try and find them a home.

One real big plus for having the upstairs cats is that Scooter will not be spraying my bed. Yeay!!! My mother doesn't love the idea of haivng 4 cats in the house, but she appreciates this aspect. Because we love Scooter, and he was Dad's cat,  we could never make the decision to keep him out of the second floor, so thank you Mr W and Ms P for helping us out with this!

To make everyone feel comfortable and loved, I spend a little quality time with Cuddles in the living room, then Mia, who gets regular ttouch for her arthritis. Then I go to the basement to brush Scooter--his very favorite thing. Then I move upstairs and play a little with Mr Whiskers and Ms Patches. I've gotten pretty adept at two-handed feather games. I so wish I could keep these two, they are a hoot together. I hope and pray someone comes soon to adopt because it gets harder and harder to think about them not being here.

So...Good night Mia in your cozy dog bed in the dining room, Cuddles on Mom's chair, Scooter in the basement where the spraying is not so devastating, Mr Whiskers in the front bedroom with his own window near the food bowls, and Ms Patches with me.

Grace in a Little Furry Ball

Speaking of cats as spirits, one of the many gifts I got from my friend Jase was meeting and getting to know his sister, Jan. Jan is a very special human being. She is also a lover of animals. Not long after Jase passed, a little black and white kitty showed up in her yard. One single kitty. A gift... from Jase.

I had the pleasure of meeting this lovely little being. And so happy that it brought pleasure and love to Jan who was hurting immensely. I hope to get more photos of Kayley.

Mia, Not a Cat, Passing

I have not written here in quite a while because there has been much to deal with. I cannot go forward without first noting the passing of my true and faithful companion. Knowing when to let your pet go is one of the hardest things in life to deal with (IMHO). We know that the quality of our pet's life is in our hands, but to realize that their living and dying is in your hands can be a bit overwhelming. When is the right time? Am I keeping him/her for their quality of life or for me?

Mia was a very special creature and her passing was also very special. When I could see the bone cancer advancing--the swelling in her leg increasing, not wanting to spend time outside, not eating much, I pretty much knew, but one vet was suggesting amputation and while another said absolutely not. It's very hard when you're so close to see things clearly. I considered the fact that she was 14, that she had arthritis and spondylosis. She lost continence and we controlled it with meds, but she would lose it now and then and I could see this was very upsetting to her. Mia had been through so many life changes with me--divorce, two moves, nursing home visits to see my dad suffering with Alzheimers. It felt like losing her was losing her companionship and a connecting link to my past. I did not want her to go.

Once, during this time, we were walking down the street, and we passed a neighbor who I knew that Mia did not trust (he is dealing with drug issues). She nudged my knee with her nose  like she was saying "See I need to be here to protect you." I remembered a time when we were living in the West Village and she had dire-rear late at night. I took her out and as we got half a block from the apt I noticed a man behind us with a very scary look on his face--like Silence of the Lambs. Mia saw him in an instant and began barking--she has a very deep and threatening bark which I sometimes found annoying because she would scare people at times unnecessarily, but that night was extremely thankful for this deep and solid warning. There were also men that I dated that she did not like--she was always right.

The deciding moment came when I accepted that amputation was not a consideration and Mia was not enjoying going outside. She was in increasing pain that I could not manage. I called that Vet who suggested looking into amputation and said that because I thought she would not be able to get through this surgery and adapt i would have to let her go. Without hesitation she said, "I agree." My heart sank but I knew that it was time to end her suffering. I arranged for another Vet to come to the house. The day he was to come there was a terrible thunder storm. Extremely heavy downpour for much of the day and thunder and lightening. In her later years Mia shook during these storms. I was very upset that this had to be happening on her last day here. The Vet was at least an hour late which was both good and bad. It gave me a bit more time with my Mia--every moment was precious. This day I could tell she was really hurting, so I was also hoping he would hurry up. She looked weaker than she had ever looked, which also gave me a little relief and confidence that I made the right decision. I stroked her and told her she was the best dog ever and that she was going to get to see her best friend Bonnie and Dad and all her buddies that had passed before her. My sister came and my friend who lives across the street who used to walk with us and we prayed and listened to a spiritual song. When the vet arrived things happened very quickly except that Mia did not like this vet and when he went to shave her leg she growled very viciously at him and then went out to pee--the first time she had gotten up since the morning (it was now 6PM). My mind started spinning, "no", I thought, "I can't do this now, it's not the right time!!" But he was there, we had it decided, she was very sick. ARRGHHH, why did this have to be so complicated?! Mia went to the front yard and left her last mark. I was happy that she had that statement. She came back in and settled. The last shot was administered and as she left, the clouds passed and sun came streaming in the windows. it as instantaneous. I sobbed unselfconsciously, surprising myself at the pain of the loss. Thank you God, I thought, through the pain and sadness, for that sun sign.

The day after she passed i had to teach in a music conference which I had been very much looking forward to, except that day I was aching with the loss of was Mia. As I was listening to the opening speaker, I had this vision of Mia--the young and frolicking Mia, racing around, panting happily. Go, Mia, run free and happy. I will join you one day and when that day comes i will not be sad to leave this earth, because of the love that I have awaiting me.

I was later told by an animal communicator who was highly recommended, that this was indeed her time and that this was her last time on earth and now she would be helping from the next world. Whether it is true or not, I like it, it feels right. I can imagine that Mia still does not trust that I will be safe on my own and she will take breaks from her heavenly romps to check on me from time to time.

Endings and Beginnings

It's  Friday night. Fridays were for Jase. My heart is heavy with the loss of Jase, who started this blog for me. He was a gentle, brave, funny, inventive and complex human being; A good friend.

Aroo was his feline and I see now that he showed Jase the way by leaving first. I'm sure he was waiting there for Jase on the other side.

Why? Just after my father's death a friend from church shared that her heart had stopped during a cancer surgery and during the time they were trying to revive her she experienced such joy that she never been experienced since. She was in  beautiful place and met by her father and grandfather and other relatives who had passed on. Her dog and cat from childhood came bounding to meet her also. (she now rescues sick cats.) There have been studies done on these experiences. It has been documented that these kinds of experiences are not dreams, because there is no brain activity when the heart stops for a period of time. So my friend is released from his pain and suffering and led by the angels to a place of great joy. Now it is for us to wait til the time when we can join in the joy of eternity.

Meanwhile we are all stuck with our here and now. So I will write in my blog, though heavy hearted, to honor my friend.

My here and now involves a bunch of restless beings. I'm trying to unwind and write in the quiet, but this is not to be.

Mia (not a cat) is dealing with bone cancer. This is heartbreaking. She also is having to deal with Cuddles who has decided she wants Mia's bed. If you have ever tried to shoo a cat from a place they've decided is their nap space, you know what an impossible task this is. I tried several times this night and left the room only to return and find Cuddles in Mia's bed. Finally, Mia gave up and got into Cuddles bed. But it was really not fair. But then again life is so not fair.

Then I have to leave these two to let Scooter, the spraying cat in. I put him right into the kitchen, close the doors and give him some treats. Here Cuddles cannot intimidate Scooter out of his treats. He can eat in leisure and peace and quiet. Well. except for the thumping upstairs as Mr Whiskers gets into his nighttime Mr Hyde and starts pouncing on Patches. More unfairness. She is so sweet and docile. Patches just loves to play. Most of the day they get along. But something happens at night and he becomes a stalker, and very possessive.

I was thinking I might try and adopt Mr W out by himself because he is so possessive of me, pushing Ms Patches who is a little shier anyway, into the background. But one morning as I was going downstairs, I spied them on the futon--together.

I used to tell jase my cat stories. I confided that maybe I was not more actively pursuing homes for these guys because I was getting very attached. He said that I had to get them a home so that I could rescue others. I guess he's right.

I feel badly that I never brought any animals over for Jase to visit with, but for some reason or other the time was never right. Then I was afraid he would run one of them over cause he would go zooming around the apt with his motorized chair. I'm so, so sad tonight, I'm happy for Jase that he is released from his suffering. And I am comforted by the love of these furry beings.

God and all the saints and angels and your loved ones be with you. You will live forever in my heart.

Dreaming About Cats

I've gone past trying to figure it out and/or make excuses, but I now dream about these creatures.

It's a bit stressful here because there are one too many alpha beings. Mia is basically spoiled and wants all my attention, so she whines when anyone else gets attention (even Petey the parakeet). Cuddles believes she is the head of the household. Scooter sprays to remind everyone he IS the head of the household and Mr. Whiskers reminds me of a caged lion. He knows he's meant to be the head of a house, but we won't let him off the second floor. He would like nothing better than to follow me around and sit near me, claiming me as "his human." (Actually, I wish he had someone who was just his, but I hold back the search while we try to get him healthy.)

Once in a while the cats meet up and it is not pretty, lots of hissing and some growling--mostly Cuddles--who, as you can tell by her name, we took to be simply a sweet, melt in your lap cat, but no. One time when Mr Whiskers got downstairs, he started to go after Mia. One of the few, perhaps, only time I've seen his hair stand and seen him hissing, bearing teeth. I could not redirect him, he started to follow us, so I got Mia out of the house, my neighbor held her, while I whisked Whiskers upstairs with treats. We have the barrier to the second floor reinforced now.

Anyway, my dream was that I stumbled upon all four cats and they were sleeping together like kittens, all folded in and over each other. I'm going to hold to this vision.

(Cuddles with her kittens in 2007)

I had this dream when I got back from the Embodied Life Retreat with Russell Delman, where we explored Feldenkrais, meditation and version of focusing. It was exquisitely refreshing (no urine smells, ahh, it was is very "green" so there were all natural scents: lemon, verbana, cedar. It was olfactory heaven!)

To digress from the animals a moment, I wonder what the dream means? I was wondering about the possibility of it meaning that all parts of me were coming together, maybe something like body/mind/soul integration. I say this because I have heard it said that all characters in your dreams are a part of the dreamer. Just wondering...

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my father's death. It is largely because of him that I am here in the family house with my mother and these creatures. Ok, Dad, you did not twist my arm and say take these in, but your example and perhaps, my holding of your memory of love and generosity lead me to this. You are well-loved and remembered tonight.

Update--Feline Hyperesthesia

First the good news: Mr Whiskers teeth look better. I was happily surprised! I think this is also due to his raw food diet because it includes bone (crushed in the food--Oma's). And Mr W and Ms P are getting along really well.

Now the challenging news: Mr Whiskers has something called feline hyperesthesia--we're still learning here. He has rippling skin on his back and belly and his tail twitches. He may start biting his legs or his tail, then he starts to run, like he's running away from invisible enemy. It's very hard to watch, because he looks so uncomfortable. I want to give him something to take it all away. We're working on this with a homeopathic vet, and meanwhile some slides along his body, grounding and following his breath with my hand seem to help, but they do not stop this strange syndrome.

When I brought Mr Whiskers back from the vet, Ms Patches came up to him and started licking him. Gone for such a short time and she missed him.

Here is a link to more detailed information and symptoms.
http://www.purelypets.com/articles/felinehyperesthesia.htm
And here is a link to a few videos, these really helped me to decide that this is what Mr Whiskers is dealing with: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTbH9H2j5Ds&feature=related

I'm mentioning this to hopefully save someone else time if they see their cat with strange symptoms and have not heard of this issue. The first vet I saw did not diagnose this, he called it epilepsy, which perhaps by a long stretch it fits in this family and some vets prescribe the same thing, phenobarbital and valium. Since I have been working holistically, I don't want to just mask the symptoms, I would like to get at the root cause. And he is not that well a guy cat, so I worry a bit about the side effects of medicines.

This has been a hard phase, I have to say, because my dog, Mia, has just gone through a bout of incontinency, where I was cleaning up constantly (hormones have done wonders, but also looking to homeopathy), she's still got some irritation, and on top of this we still have Scooter who sprays. So I feel we are being a bit tortured here. I know there are many worse problems in the world, but a house filled with urine seems a perverse variation of water torture.