I had the pleasure of meeting this lovely little being. And so happy that it brought pleasure and love to Jan who was hurting immensely. I hope to get more photos of Kayley.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Grace in a Little Furry Ball
Speaking of cats as spirits, one of the many gifts I got from my friend Jase was meeting and getting to know his sister, Jan. Jan is a very special human being. She is also a lover of animals. Not long after Jase passed, a little black and white kitty showed up in her yard. One single kitty. A gift... from Jase.
I had the pleasure of meeting this lovely little being. And so happy that it brought pleasure and love to Jan who was hurting immensely. I hope to get more photos of Kayley.
I had the pleasure of meeting this lovely little being. And so happy that it brought pleasure and love to Jan who was hurting immensely. I hope to get more photos of Kayley.
Mia, Not a Cat, Passing
I have not written here in quite a while because there has been much to deal with. I cannot go forward without first noting the passing of my true and faithful companion. Knowing when to let your pet go is one of the hardest things in life to deal with (IMHO). We know that the quality of our pet's life is in our hands, but to realize that their living and dying is in your hands can be a bit overwhelming. When is the right time? Am I keeping him/her for their quality of life or for me?
Mia was a very special creature and her passing was also very special. When I could see the bone cancer advancing--the swelling in her leg increasing, not wanting to spend time outside, not eating much, I pretty much knew, but one vet was suggesting amputation and while another said absolutely not. It's very hard when you're so close to see things clearly. I considered the fact that she was 14, that she had arthritis and spondylosis. She lost continence and we controlled it with meds, but she would lose it now and then and I could see this was very upsetting to her. Mia had been through so many life changes with me--divorce, two moves, nursing home visits to see my dad suffering with Alzheimers. It felt like losing her was losing her companionship and a connecting link to my past. I did not want her to go.
Once, during this time, we were walking down the street, and we passed a neighbor who I knew that Mia did not trust (he is dealing with drug issues). She nudged my knee with her nose like she was saying "See I need to be here to protect you." I remembered a time when we were living in the West Village and she had dire-rear late at night. I took her out and as we got half a block from the apt I noticed a man behind us with a very scary look on his face--like Silence of the Lambs. Mia saw him in an instant and began barking--she has a very deep and threatening bark which I sometimes found annoying because she would scare people at times unnecessarily, but that night was extremely thankful for this deep and solid warning. There were also men that I dated that she did not like--she was always right.
The deciding moment came when I accepted that amputation was not a consideration and Mia was not enjoying going outside. She was in increasing pain that I could not manage. I called that Vet who suggested looking into amputation and said that because I thought she would not be able to get through this surgery and adapt i would have to let her go. Without hesitation she said, "I agree." My heart sank but I knew that it was time to end her suffering. I arranged for another Vet to come to the house. The day he was to come there was a terrible thunder storm. Extremely heavy downpour for much of the day and thunder and lightening. In her later years Mia shook during these storms. I was very upset that this had to be happening on her last day here. The Vet was at least an hour late which was both good and bad. It gave me a bit more time with my Mia--every moment was precious. This day I could tell she was really hurting, so I was also hoping he would hurry up. She looked weaker than she had ever looked, which also gave me a little relief and confidence that I made the right decision. I stroked her and told her she was the best dog ever and that she was going to get to see her best friend Bonnie and Dad and all her buddies that had passed before her. My sister came and my friend who lives across the street who used to walk with us and we prayed and listened to a spiritual song. When the vet arrived things happened very quickly except that Mia did not like this vet and when he went to shave her leg she growled very viciously at him and then went out to pee--the first time she had gotten up since the morning (it was now 6PM). My mind started spinning, "no", I thought, "I can't do this now, it's not the right time!!" But he was there, we had it decided, she was very sick. ARRGHHH, why did this have to be so complicated?! Mia went to the front yard and left her last mark. I was happy that she had that statement. She came back in and settled. The last shot was administered and as she left, the clouds passed and sun came streaming in the windows. it as instantaneous. I sobbed unselfconsciously, surprising myself at the pain of the loss. Thank you God, I thought, through the pain and sadness, for that sun sign.
The day after she passed i had to teach in a music conference which I had been very much looking forward to, except that day I was aching with the loss of was Mia. As I was listening to the opening speaker, I had this vision of Mia--the young and frolicking Mia, racing around, panting happily. Go, Mia, run free and happy. I will join you one day and when that day comes i will not be sad to leave this earth, because of the love that I have awaiting me.
I was later told by an animal communicator who was highly recommended, that this was indeed her time and that this was her last time on earth and now she would be helping from the next world. Whether it is true or not, I like it, it feels right. I can imagine that Mia still does not trust that I will be safe on my own and she will take breaks from her heavenly romps to check on me from time to time.
Once, during this time, we were walking down the street, and we passed a neighbor who I knew that Mia did not trust (he is dealing with drug issues). She nudged my knee with her nose like she was saying "See I need to be here to protect you." I remembered a time when we were living in the West Village and she had dire-rear late at night. I took her out and as we got half a block from the apt I noticed a man behind us with a very scary look on his face--like Silence of the Lambs. Mia saw him in an instant and began barking--she has a very deep and threatening bark which I sometimes found annoying because she would scare people at times unnecessarily, but that night was extremely thankful for this deep and solid warning. There were also men that I dated that she did not like--she was always right.
The deciding moment came when I accepted that amputation was not a consideration and Mia was not enjoying going outside. She was in increasing pain that I could not manage. I called that Vet who suggested looking into amputation and said that because I thought she would not be able to get through this surgery and adapt i would have to let her go. Without hesitation she said, "I agree." My heart sank but I knew that it was time to end her suffering. I arranged for another Vet to come to the house. The day he was to come there was a terrible thunder storm. Extremely heavy downpour for much of the day and thunder and lightening. In her later years Mia shook during these storms. I was very upset that this had to be happening on her last day here. The Vet was at least an hour late which was both good and bad. It gave me a bit more time with my Mia--every moment was precious. This day I could tell she was really hurting, so I was also hoping he would hurry up. She looked weaker than she had ever looked, which also gave me a little relief and confidence that I made the right decision. I stroked her and told her she was the best dog ever and that she was going to get to see her best friend Bonnie and Dad and all her buddies that had passed before her. My sister came and my friend who lives across the street who used to walk with us and we prayed and listened to a spiritual song. When the vet arrived things happened very quickly except that Mia did not like this vet and when he went to shave her leg she growled very viciously at him and then went out to pee--the first time she had gotten up since the morning (it was now 6PM). My mind started spinning, "no", I thought, "I can't do this now, it's not the right time!!" But he was there, we had it decided, she was very sick. ARRGHHH, why did this have to be so complicated?! Mia went to the front yard and left her last mark. I was happy that she had that statement. She came back in and settled. The last shot was administered and as she left, the clouds passed and sun came streaming in the windows. it as instantaneous. I sobbed unselfconsciously, surprising myself at the pain of the loss. Thank you God, I thought, through the pain and sadness, for that sun sign.
The day after she passed i had to teach in a music conference which I had been very much looking forward to, except that day I was aching with the loss of was Mia. As I was listening to the opening speaker, I had this vision of Mia--the young and frolicking Mia, racing around, panting happily. Go, Mia, run free and happy. I will join you one day and when that day comes i will not be sad to leave this earth, because of the love that I have awaiting me.
I was later told by an animal communicator who was highly recommended, that this was indeed her time and that this was her last time on earth and now she would be helping from the next world. Whether it is true or not, I like it, it feels right. I can imagine that Mia still does not trust that I will be safe on my own and she will take breaks from her heavenly romps to check on me from time to time.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Endings and Beginnings
It's Friday night. Fridays were for Jase. My heart is heavy with the loss of Jase, who started this blog for me. He was a gentle, brave, funny, inventive and complex human being; A good friend.Aroo was his feline and I see now that he showed Jase the way by leaving first. I'm sure he was waiting there for Jase on the other side.
Why? Just after my father's death a friend from church shared that her heart had stopped during a cancer surgery and during the time they were trying to revive her she experienced such joy that she never been experienced since. She was in beautiful place and met by her father and grandfather and other relatives who had passed on. Her dog and cat from childhood came bounding to meet her also. (she now rescues sick cats.) There have been studies done on these experiences. It has been documented that these kinds of experiences are not dreams, because there is no brain activity when the heart stops for a period of time. So my friend is released from his pain and suffering and led by the angels to a place of great joy. Now it is for us to wait til the time when we can join in the joy of eternity.
Meanwhile we are all stuck with our here and now. So I will write in my blog, though heavy hearted, to honor my friend.
My here and now involves a bunch of restless beings. I'm trying to unwind and write in the quiet, but this is not to be.
Then I have to leave these two to let Scooter, the spraying cat in. I put him right into the kitchen, close the doors and give him some treats. Here Cuddles cannot intimidate Scooter out of his treats. He can eat in leisure and peace and quiet. Well. except for the thumping upstairs as Mr Whiskers gets into his nighttime Mr Hyde and starts pouncing on Patches. More unfairness. She is so sweet and docile. Patches just loves to play. Most of the day they get along. But something happens at night and he becomes a stalker, and very possessive.
I was thinking I might try and adopt Mr W out by himself because he is so possessive of me, pushing Ms Patches who is a little shier anyway, into the background. But one morning as I was going downstairs, I spied them on the futon--together.
I feel badly that I never brought any animals over for Jase to visit with, but for some reason or other the time was never right. Then I was afraid he would run one of them over cause he would go zooming around the apt with his motorized chair. I'm so, so sad tonight, I'm happy for Jase that he is released from his suffering. And I am comforted by the love of these furry beings.
God and all the saints and angels and your loved ones be with you. You will live forever in my heart.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Dreaming About Cats
I've gone past trying to figure it out and/or make excuses, but I now dream about these creatures.
It's a bit stressful here because there are one too many alpha beings. Mia is basically spoiled and wants all my attention, so she whines when anyone else gets attention (even Petey the parakeet). Cuddles believes she is the head of the household. Scooter sprays to remind everyone he IS the head of the household and Mr. Whiskers reminds me of a caged lion. He knows he's meant to be the head of a house, but we won't let him off the second floor. He would like nothing better than to follow me around and sit near me, claiming me as "his human." (Actually, I wish he had someone who was just his, but I hold back the search while we try to get him healthy.)
Once in a while the cats meet up and it is not pretty, lots of hissing and some growling--mostly Cuddles--who, as you can tell by her name, we took to be simply a sweet, melt in your lap cat, but no. One time when Mr Whiskers got downstairs, he started to go after Mia. One of the few, perhaps, only time I've seen his hair stand and seen him hissing, bearing teeth. I could not redirect him, he started to follow us, so I got Mia out of the house, my neighbor held her, while I whisked Whiskers upstairs with treats. We have the barrier to the second floor reinforced now.
It's a bit stressful here because there are one too many alpha beings. Mia is basically spoiled and wants all my attention, so she whines when anyone else gets attention (even Petey the parakeet). Cuddles believes she is the head of the household. Scooter sprays to remind everyone he IS the head of the household and Mr. Whiskers reminds me of a caged lion. He knows he's meant to be the head of a house, but we won't let him off the second floor. He would like nothing better than to follow me around and sit near me, claiming me as "his human." (Actually, I wish he had someone who was just his, but I hold back the search while we try to get him healthy.)
Once in a while the cats meet up and it is not pretty, lots of hissing and some growling--mostly Cuddles--who, as you can tell by her name, we took to be simply a sweet, melt in your lap cat, but no. One time when Mr Whiskers got downstairs, he started to go after Mia. One of the few, perhaps, only time I've seen his hair stand and seen him hissing, bearing teeth. I could not redirect him, he started to follow us, so I got Mia out of the house, my neighbor held her, while I whisked Whiskers upstairs with treats. We have the barrier to the second floor reinforced now.
Anyway, my dream was that I stumbled upon all four cats and they were sleeping together like kittens, all folded in and over each other. I'm going to hold to this vision.
 |
| (Cuddles with her kittens in 2007) |
I had this dream when I got back from the Embodied Life Retreat with Russell Delman, where we explored Feldenkrais, meditation and version of focusing. It was exquisitely refreshing (no urine smells, ahh, it was is very "green" so there were all natural scents: lemon, verbana, cedar. It was olfactory heaven!)
To digress from the animals a moment, I wonder what the dream means? I was wondering about the possibility of it meaning that all parts of me were coming together, maybe something like body/mind/soul integration. I say this because I have heard it said that all characters in your dreams are a part of the dreamer. Just wondering...
Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my father's death. It is largely because of him that I am here in the family house with my mother and these creatures. Ok, Dad, you did not twist my arm and say take these in, but your example and perhaps, my holding of your memory of love and generosity lead me to this. You are well-loved and remembered tonight.
Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my father's death. It is largely because of him that I am here in the family house with my mother and these creatures. Ok, Dad, you did not twist my arm and say take these in, but your example and perhaps, my holding of your memory of love and generosity lead me to this. You are well-loved and remembered tonight.
Update--Feline Hyperesthesia
First the good news: Mr Whiskers teeth look better. I was happily surprised! I think this is also due to his raw food diet because it includes bone (crushed in the food--Oma's). And Mr W and Ms P are getting along really well.
Now the challenging news: Mr Whiskers has something called feline hyperesthesia--we're still learning here. He has rippling skin on his back and belly and his tail twitches. He may start biting his legs or his tail, then he starts to run, like he's running away from invisible enemy. It's very hard to watch, because he looks so uncomfortable. I want to give him something to take it all away. We're working on this with a homeopathic vet, and meanwhile some slides along his body, grounding and following his breath with my hand seem to help, but they do not stop this strange syndrome.
When I brought Mr Whiskers back from the vet, Ms Patches came up to him and started licking him. Gone for such a short time and she missed him.
Here is a link to more detailed information and symptoms.
http://www.purelypets.com/articles/felinehyperesthesia.htm
And here is a link to a few videos, these really helped me to decide that this is what Mr Whiskers is dealing with: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTbH9H2j5Ds&feature=related
Here is a link to more detailed information and symptoms.
http://www.purelypets.com/articles/felinehyperesthesia.htm
And here is a link to a few videos, these really helped me to decide that this is what Mr Whiskers is dealing with: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTbH9H2j5Ds&feature=related
I'm mentioning this to hopefully save someone else time if they see their cat with strange symptoms and have not heard of this issue. The first vet I saw did not diagnose this, he called it epilepsy, which perhaps by a long stretch it fits in this family and some vets prescribe the same thing, phenobarbital and valium. Since I have been working holistically, I don't want to just mask the symptoms, I would like to get at the root cause. And he is not that well a guy cat, so I worry a bit about the side effects of medicines.
This has been a hard phase, I have to say, because my dog, Mia, has just gone through a bout of incontinency, where I was cleaning up constantly (hormones have done wonders, but also looking to homeopathy), she's still got some irritation, and on top of this we still have Scooter who sprays. So I feel we are being a bit tortured here. I know there are many worse problems in the world, but a house filled with urine seems a perverse variation of water torture.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Mr Whiskers Gets His Teeth Brushed
Recently, when I got a little closer to Mr Whiskers face, I noticed a smell I didn't feel too good about. Mr Whiskers, I thought, "you need your teeth brushed!" I guessed gingivitus at least. Dr Buchoff, a holistic vet, had introduced me to pet care like brushing their coat, tapping on their sternum to boost the immune system, and teeth brushing. Growing up with animals we never brushed their teeth and they seemed to do just fine. I thought this was a little over the top, but I did try a bit with my cats, then it kind of slipped away. But now it seems like a really good idea.I took a good look when Mr W yawned and by golly his teeth are kinda really yellow. So I got out the toothpaste and the little cat toothbrush. I put some on my finger to see if he liked it. He did. Of course, Mr W likes just about everything that's edible. So I let him eat a bit off my finger. I figured by licking it he would get some on his teeth. Next I put some on the brush, and let him sniff that.
Then Patches came over to see what Mr W was so interested in. There is also a kind of thimble looking thing that has little bristles, but this was too big for his mouth. he did not like this, The toothbrush was a better size.
Slowly we worked up to the point where I was able to hold him gently but firmly on the scruff of his neck and use the toothbrush. As soon as he pulled strongly, I let go, let him walk around a bit, then when he was ready to come back I tried it again on the other side of his mouth. When I saw him go into a crouch and not look at me or move his head, I decided he had had enough. I gave him a pet and told him what a good boy he was. Next time I tried it was pretty much the same routine. i think he's really going to be ok with this. And I have this vision of him being like the cat I saw on youtube who just looooved to get his teeth brushed. Here's a link to that video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HTYRYvhP8Y
Then Patches came over to see what Mr W was so interested in. There is also a kind of thimble looking thing that has little bristles, but this was too big for his mouth. he did not like this, The toothbrush was a better size.
I should back up a little and mention that I have been doing mouth circles w Mr W. I used the tip of my finger and did little circles all along his lips. As he got comfortable with this, his lips began to soften, loosen, I began to get in his mouth and onto his gums (just along the upper teeth). This can help anxious cats to calm down. I believe it can help with aggression, and probably other things. But here it helped him get used to having things in his mouth. This is actually really important and a valuable practice in case you need to medicate a cat. I hope I never have to pill Mr W, but one step at a time.
Slowly we worked up to the point where I was able to hold him gently but firmly on the scruff of his neck and use the toothbrush. As soon as he pulled strongly, I let go, let him walk around a bit, then when he was ready to come back I tried it again on the other side of his mouth. When I saw him go into a crouch and not look at me or move his head, I decided he had had enough. I gave him a pet and told him what a good boy he was. Next time I tried it was pretty much the same routine. i think he's really going to be ok with this. And I have this vision of him being like the cat I saw on youtube who just looooved to get his teeth brushed. Here's a link to that video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HTYRYvhP8YGetting Along
Mr Whiskers and Ms Patches have some really beautiful moments and then some tumultuous exchanges, probably not unlike any relationship. Mr Whiskers kind of pushes her out of the way when he wants my full attention--I mean completely out of the room. In trying to decide if I should adopt them out together i consulted with my TTouch Mentor, a wonderful animal trainer and supporter, Mary Bruce (see http://taviandfriends.org/). She said I may be able to alter this behavior but I have to catch them in the act. So I try to redirect Mr Whiskers, or I hold him at his chest and say "leave Ms patches alone, she belongs here." I try to do some simultaneous slides on them while they are there together.
It is pretty typical for him to push her off my bed after a while. So today, I had to remind him a few times. Then he surprised me. He came over to her on my bed, and lay next to her. This is usually a prelude to putting his arm over her shoulder, a kind of dominance move. But instead, he started to clean himself. Then Ms Patches started to clean herself.
Then after about 5 minutes of this they curled up and fell asleep. So sweet! The first time I've seen them sleep so close. Now I'm not naive enough to think they will be perfectly happy from now on, but I think their relationship is developing very nicely. Thanks Mary!
When I came back from work they were in my office, sleeping together again, on the sofa. Sweet.
It is pretty typical for him to push her off my bed after a while. So today, I had to remind him a few times. Then he surprised me. He came over to her on my bed, and lay next to her. This is usually a prelude to putting his arm over her shoulder, a kind of dominance move. But instead, he started to clean himself. Then Ms Patches started to clean herself.
Then after about 5 minutes of this they curled up and fell asleep. So sweet! The first time I've seen them sleep so close. Now I'm not naive enough to think they will be perfectly happy from now on, but I think their relationship is developing very nicely. Thanks Mary!
When I came back from work they were in my office, sleeping together again, on the sofa. Sweet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
